Imagine you are sitting at dinner with several of your in-laws, and that they have always kind of wondered what "being a consultant" means, and why you do not have a "real job." They ask you "what's keeping you busy these days," and you reply that you are trying to finish a white paper that you can hand out to prospects. A flood of reactions follows:
"You're writing?! Do you really have time to waste on writing a paper that nobody is going to read? Do you know enough about this topic to write a whole paper about it? I thought you hated writing. Do you write well enough that people will want to read ..."
Or you are at the gym or Y or athletic club in the early evening, getting some exercise. A casual acquaintance who is usually there at the same time notes that you look a bit tired, a bit stressed. "Oh, I'm all right," you say, "I just spent the afternoon on the phone following up with potential clients. They were all people I'd sent an article, and I was just trying to move the conversation along. But I find that kind of thing kind of tiring, it's hard to be full of energy after about the fifth call."
Your acquaintance responds:
"I should think so! I hate telemarketers. How do you get over the fact that they are mostly thinking about how busy they are, and they are dying to get rid of you so they can get back to work?
Do You Listen To Them?
If you share what you are trying to do in your business, you probably get responses like these, and other negative reactions, from time to time. On the days when you're a bit worn down, when you're kind of tired, you even listen to them a little.
But if you are reasonably successful, and you have been in consulting a while, you manage to shrug them off. If you are sufficiently experienced, you know better than to argue with them, you can never win those arguments.
You just try to limit the conversation on that topic and move on, because you know they have no idea what they are talking about. You know, for instance, that sending your prospects that article was precisely the tool you needed so they would welcome a follow-up conversation with you, not dread it. You know that, if you believe having an article or white paper can really help your business, you can find the time and a way to get it written, whether you do that yourself or you hire professional help to create the content.
You stick your fingers in your ears, mentally, when you hear this kind of claptrap from relatives and friends and acquaintances (and sometimes from complete strangers you have just met!).
But what happens when the same kinds of things pop up in that little voice of your own, inside your head?
Stick Your Fingers Deeper!
When your brother-in-law tells you you don't have time to write a good white paper, you dismiss it, along with his ill-founded opinions on sports and politics.
But when you don't like writing, say, you may tell yourself you "don't have time right now" to write a white paper.
What's the difference? There really isn't any, in terms of the validity of the statement. You either do have time, or you can make time, or you can hire someone else's time, so there is always time for something you have decided is important.
The difference is that sometimes we believe the doubts we express to ourselves much more readily than the doubts we hear from outsiders. Often that readiness to accept these doubts is based on their value as excuses, as a way of helping us avoid an activity that isn't among our favorites.
If you refuse to write, or call prospects, or keep your invoicing up to date, or perform any other crucial business activity, just because you don't like it, well, at least be honest about it.
But when you hear that little doubting voice, ask yourself why it is there, whether the doubt is valid, or just an excuse or a distraction.
If it is valid, you're a consultant who solves behavior and business challenges, solve this one.
If it is just an excuse or distraction, dismiss it the way you would the crap you hear from other doubters around you and move on with confidence.
